I had the opportunity to speak with the lovely and energetic Cori Asuncion of “That’s Not Proper”. For those of you who know me, I was already hooked when I learned the name of her podcast. I was double hooked when I met Cori, she’s honest, fun, and incredibly smart. I was honored to be a part of this conversation.
In this episode, we dive into:
- Two weeks after losing my parents, my husband was laid off. I tell more about how we struggle through this and changed our mindset to find the good in this experience.
- The 3 cornerstones of The Status Foe – Financial independence, minimalism, and mindfulness.
- Financial independence – “learn to manage your money, so money doesn’t control you anymore.”
- Minimalism – “An airplane needs a clear runway in order to land and in order for us to land and the life that we want, we have to clear the runway. No, we have to make sure that we, we make space for all of these new things that we actually want.” Minimalism is not only about physical clutter but also our mental clutter, our schedules, our obligations, and what we say yes and no to.
- Mindfulness – Living with intention and creating a life you want. “And once you start diving into that living intentionally, it’s amazing to see the things that we do just because everybody else is doing it. And that doesn’t make it right.”
- If you have the drive and the discipline to learn something, you can get better with it every single time you practice.
- We need to put more of what we enjoy in our lives. It’s like we forgot how to actually enjoy life.
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Hey, welcome back to that’s not proper. And I’m your host Cori Asuncion. My guest today is Glenda Hoon Russell. She is an entrepreneur, a blogger and the author of The Status Foe. Around four years ago, she decided with her husband Kris, to dramatically change their lives, sell almost everything that they owned, purchase a class A motor home, and begin their journey towards financial freedom. A simplistic mindful life. Thank you Glenda for chatting with me today.
Thank you Cori for having me. I’m so excited about this conversation.
I was thrilled to find you. Now, to be fair, initially I was like RV living, you know, it’s something I’ve talked about, but obviously the amount of kids I, you know, not something I can do just when I saw that. And so then, but then when I saw you, it went even further and you’re writing this book and then the story behind how you even got to the RV living and then the life of, you know, mindfulness and freedom and the simplistic style. It was became even bigger for me and I’m super excited. Now let’s start off. I want to know if you could give me a little bit of your background before you got to RV living
So the main event that happened where that I, I lost both my parents. And so back in 2016 (correction 2013) my dad passed away from a neurological degenerative disease. He basically went right from a normal functioning human being, two-way lucid vegetable within six years. So he lost his ability to walk. He lost his ability to talk, to blink his eyes. To use the bathroom to, I mean, every single thing that you and I consider ourselves independent, he lost it. He lost it all. So the disease eventually took over his, his, you know, his lungs and his, his heart and, and so that’s when he passed away. And my mom was a caregiver for him. She gave him a hundred per cent. I need she, okay. Anytime he needed something, she made sure he was comfortable. People who are bedridden. One thing that’s very important is to move them around often because they get Bedsores. She was constantly moving him so he wouldn’t get these bedsores. He never got a bedsore. It was amazing actually until he was in a hospital. But that’s beside the point.
I remember reading this statistic once, I think it’s from the American cancer society, I’ll have to check this, but okay. A caregiver. Usually if that’s their full time job, their lifespan average after the person who they’ve been caring for passed away, they have three years to live because they give so much of themselves to that person. Okay. My mom felt right into that statistic and she passed away three years later from a heart attack. I mean, I had lunch with her on a Sunday afternoon. We went to a, in Texas, a restaurant called Luby’s. It’s like a cafeteria type thing. And we went to lunch and she looked a little pale, look, a little weak. But other than that she, she was doing fine. And the next morning she called me and said, one day I really need your help. And she didn’t sound right and it was about seven o’clock in the morning.
So I rushed over there, had about a 30 minute drive ahead of me and the, the paramedics were there. She was already in the ambulance. Hmm. Okay. And she passed away. I’m a heart attack, so, Oh no, that, so sorry. Thank you. I, you know, it’s, I have made peace with that and I’ll get into that a little bit later. But it, it was so tragic. I was very close with my parents. They were, I mean my, my best friends, I would call my mom every day. I would, you know, especially when my dad was sick checkup on him, they were just a very close knit family. So losing them and losing them at a young age. Especially with my dad losing that relationship of father, well the relationship of father daughter was still there, but the role reversal of parent and child changed.
And I was, you know, in my stupid twenties where I think I’m invincible. Right. And I didn’t, I wasn’t. And it just changed my life and those two events, my, especially after my, my mom died, it just was a big slap in the face. I mean, it’s, the rug felt like it was pulled up, up from underneath me. And, and the ground and everything else that felt solid. Hmm. And I knew that I needed to change and I remember my husband and I looking at each other and saying, what are we doing? We’re working these corporate jobs. We’re working, you know, until the, the late night in the evenings we’re working weekends and holidays and for what? Yeah. Money. Okay. Well we all need money, but our life didn’t feel filling. It just, I felt like we were reacting to life.
So at the time I wasn’t very spiritual. I haven’t really been a, a religious person, but I wasn’t a very spiritual and so I didn’t, I didn’t believe, but I, I did begin to pray cause I was in such a deep place and I just, the universe for signs, I just said, please help me see the good in all of this. And it was amazing how two weeks after my, my mom passed away. I laugh now, but because it’s silly, but two weeks after my mom passed away, then my husband lost his job and he was laid off. That was another thing. Yeah. It just became this, like, what is going on? All these dominoes keep falling on me. Okay. But then I just decided that, you know what, let’s, let’s spin this. Let’s see if there’s a positive in this. And so taking that job loss meant that my job, my husband’s job, he had a little bit of freedom, you know, like, well, maybe he doesn’t have to go back to a traditional job.
Maybe he can find a remote job. At the time, I had a, the graphic and website design firm that I had for many years. It was completely remote because I never felt like I wanted to have the, the agency office and all, you know, all of that. I, I wanted to, I have some freedom with my business. Hmm. And our lease with our home was ending and okay. All of these windows of opportunity kept popping up. Yeah. We just said, well, why don’t we do something different? Why don’t we, and we had been talking about traveling overseas or living in an RV. You know, when you’re, you’re sitting down dreaming and you see some YouTuber know all sexy and they’re so happy and you know, and it’s like, Oh man, that, that looks like that would be great. I mean, what if we, what if we lived in an RV and we just started asking what if and why and well, what if this scenario, what if that scenario it ended up just turning into let’s make a decision, let’s do this.
And so we just decided to without any knowledge, of Rving in general because we had never RVed before. We bought an RV, you know, watched a bunch of YouTube videos on how to purchase an RV and, and we just started and it just felt really right. Like we were going in the right direction even though it wasn’t perfect. It was probably the hardest a few months of our life especially. I was grieving really hard. I mean, drinking myself to death every night. Like it just, it was, it was bad, but I was also going through getting rid of my parents homes, cool. 30 years of stuff and having to do that really quickly and sell the house really quickly. Having to get rid of my house and all of the items
In my house and doing all of that within four months and buying an RV. I mean it was just an insane, are you, are you an only child? I have a brother and two sisters. Yeah. But I’m the baby, right? Yep. Yeah. Wow. I just, I can’t even, okay. The amount, like right now my, my mind is doing things that I do, I think women tend to do this. We start to plan out and organize, you know, how we’re going to get everything done. And then I also have the mom thing where I’m, you know, okay, I got, I know some other things we’ve got to organize. And then I also know a tiny bit, not very much about RVs and so I’m, you know, doing that in my head and I’m thinking, yeah, I’d probably be drinking myself into a tizzy at that point.
I just can’t deal with the grieving on top of that. And I just, I can’t even imagine. And so this is a huge, you have all these other things, put the RV living aside for just a moment. All of these other major life changes occurring. And then you guys choose to go into RV living in case. So obviously that’s an a stack, you know, let’s add to the stack. And so what was it that made you say, okay this is, this is the choice, you know, instead of, you know, instead of selling everything off and living in a small little home what made you say, let’s do the RV thing cause you guys also during this time, once you guys have transitioned to RV living, you guys have been traveling over around the United States as well.
Well I believe that at the time we were, my husband and I were looking at what are we, what’s important in life? And especially after losing my parents.
Yeah. The need for family for us was so important. Hmm. And it was, it just, it seemed like a no brainer for us too, create a life where we are experiencing more of what we want to experience together. Hmm. And it was a, there was a good Mmm. Just a time period where we just, we were ships in the night. I mean constantly, you know, just doing our thing, doing our jobs, taking care of dealing with my, or not dealing, but taking care of my parents and you know, we were just both kind of in our own little worlds. I felt the separation from him and, but we both loved to travel at the time I thought, well, if we could travel more, maybe I can find myself. I can finally highly figure out who I am. Yeah. Because right now I’m just in survival mode and I, I’m tired of that feeling. Right. So it was making this big decision, although it was not recommended by my therapist
Making this big decision was this, we had to get on the same page and Chris and I, my husband wheat several, several years before or then we had gone through the Dave Ramsey financial peace course where we were able to get rid of our debt. We had about $80,000 worth of debt. Aye, I don’t like that. I think it’s a ball. And chain. So we were able to, yeah. W that course, which I highly we recommend. It puts you on the same page with looking at the future. Yes. Because we did that and got out of debt and learned how to manage our money. That also gave us some freedom. Ooh. To this RV travel. Hmm. Because we, we weren’t, we didn’t have, you know, $500 going to this bill and another 200 of this student loan. And, you know, we had a little bit of leeway and also some savings because we knew that we wanted to go on this journey together.
So yeah, it’s like it, it didn’t suddenly happen. It was like an ice sculpture. I was slowly chipping away like it, I knew what I wanted, I knew the feeling that I wanted. I didn’t know how to get there, there. And this just seems like a nice way.
So to start that, to start going in that direction. So you sell everything, you find an RV and you’d have a, is it, did you get the class a at that time or did you get, okay, have you guys changed your RV? Do you have the same RV? We’ve had the same RV. It’s the same one. And so you have a class in the class that is one of those big huge ones, right? Yes. Yeah. Okay. We have a class C so I know the difference. So I was just like a with it, you know, it’s long ours 29 feet long or something like that. But so yours is the whole one with the slides that stick out the on the sites. Okay. Yes. Yes. So you sell everything, you buy the, I’m going to call it a honk and RV and, okay. Yeah. Where do you go first?
Our first place was, so we, we started in Texas near Austin and the Hill country and we knew that we wanted to go West. Okay. So our, our first place was Carlsbad taverns in Mexico. Hmm. Okay. On day one of our, of our journey. You know, we’re, we’re so excited having no idea what, what we’re really doing. Yeah. Broke our refrigerator, went completely out and there was one other thing, Oh, w part of our sighting just ripped off because of the winds were so strong. I mean, all of this on day one, it’s like, Oh my God, we were, we were like, is this going to be our life? Yes. I can just imagine, like I said, we have an RV. Ours is much older and so it’s got, you know, you expect issues, but there are times where I’m like, really? I just really, you know, the generator goes up.
We just had, you know, $700 worth of work done. Generator works great. We go for the first weekend away. Generator does not work great. You know, it’s just, and it’s just like, is this a money pit? But we also don’t want to get rid of it, but kind of a little bit, I’m sick of it, you know, we go back and forth. I can’t even imagine. You had mentioned that you didn’t really have you know, you weren’t a spiritual person, but that you said you began praying to the universe and so did that evolve for you? What did I, I was reaching, yeah, anything in addition to alcohol, I was just reaching for any comfort. I grew up with a very small correct, religious. Yeah. So I, I definitely grew up in that, in that realm. But yeah, moving forward, I, I always thought I, I would like to have just the relationship.
Yeah. With my universe, with God and through the journey it, it was so up and down to be honest, but I had this blind faith that everything was going to be okay because I survived the two deaths. I was surviving each day. I survived the two best to my parents. And then, and I, I didn’t mention this before, but we’ve actually had four different layoffs in between my husband and I. So, and we, they just keep coming. Right, right. We’ve survived all of these things, even though they were absolutely painful while they were going on months and years afterward. Right. I just kept thinking, well, you know, I definitely have. Okay, yeah, just confidence in myself. But there’s also something there and okay. I think that my spiritual journey really started when w living in the RV, no, you’re not going to networking events and happy hours and all of these things that we used to do extra events that we, we tend to fill up our schedules with. Then we don’t have kids, but just work stuff, you know? Okay. It was, it was interesting because once we slowed down our life, I, I really started to observe nature and, and especially being beautiful areas. You know, I lived in Houston where I love Houston for what it is, but it is not a beautiful city.
So going to the West and really seeing yeah, nature and its majesty and being an Aw of what it has to offer. I really felt like I connected with God and that time period and it, and so it evolved. It evolved through yoga, it evolved through meditation. And so all of that has, those are all puzzle pieces. That has helped my spiritual journey in, in developing my, my re my relationship with God, not going the roundabout. I used to go through religion where I felt guilty all the time. I felt like I, it was, it was a very different experience where now it’s all about love, forgiveness and abundance and just beauty. It’s a, it’s a very healthy, beautiful. Really? Yeah. You have also, I believe it, I believe you discussed it in the book, but you had mentioned there’s three cornerstones to freedom. What are those three cornerstones?
Three cornerstones are financial independence, minimalism and mindfulness and these are, I call these cornerstones because these are the steps that I took from, from experience to to get to where I am now and yeah, I think with bye in, in what what each of these items do when you focus on them is they, they provide you a right type of thing. Freedom and let me, let me define freedom for me. Thank you. I was going to ask you to define what you mean by fame because I think yeah, everybody’s kind of got a different, yeah. Definition necessarily of what freedom is. Yeah. I would love to hear what totally going to ask you that. So go ahead.
So freedoms for me is having the power to choose. Having the power of choice where for example, with financial independence. Okay. With my old money stories that I grew up with, you know, hating money, thinking it was evil. Aye changed my relationship with money into money is a vehicle for opportunity. Hmm, okay. The thing is is that what money does, I think in our culture especially is, or at least this is the way that I used to think, is that it controls me that my paycheck controls me. I don’t have enough money to travel because I’m not earning enough money. And what really changed for me in that is realizing that I may not have control of what money comes in. I absolutely have control what I spend and what I do with my money, where I tell my money to go. So there’s a very big difference with when you learn to manage your money, that money doesn’t control you anymore.
You control it, you tell it where to go. And yes, it takes discipline and sacrifice and all of those things. But if you’re end product or your why is so big and so beautiful. Okay. You know, not buying random things at Target doesn’t matter anymore because I’m going camping at Mount Shasta and enjoying the lakes and Lake Siskyou or whatever, right. It just, you have to make that really big wide. So that’s why I believe financial independence is the first cornerstone for, for that because, so if, if you were like me, so many of us blame money. Our progression in not being able to do the things we love. Right. And then with minimalism you know, minimalism has been a tossed around a lot and it, there’s a lot of different definitions. So I usually use it term minimalism-ish. Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. It’s basically minimizing the, not just the, that’s physical clutter in your life, but the, your schedule, or the mental clutter, all of the things that are possibly holding you back from doing the things that you want to do. So, like for me, I could have had the opportunity to buy my parent’s home from the estate and I, I didn’t end up buying it because I thought, you know, those are, those are roots. Those, I mean, once I buy a house, I have to maintain it. I have to do all this stuff to it. Okay. I want freedom. Freedom is a value of mine. Freedom is where I want to go. I definitely, I chose not to go that route even though all of my subconscious and you know, thoughts in my mind said, Oh, but hold on to your childhood home.
That’s where you grew up. And, and it was hard to let go of, but I, I was able to do it. It’s, it’s about clearing space to make room for the things that you want. And that’s face like the, what you’re clearing out. It can be physical or okay. Or mental clutter. I love using the analogy that, okay, an airplane needs a clear runway in order to land and in order for us to land and the life that we want, we have to clear the runway. No, we have to make sure that we, we make space for all of these new things that we actually want. And then mindset,
Probably the, the biggest one. And I, I use mindset and mindfulness interchangeably. This is a big word you use. I see that word everywhere right now. You know, mindfulness and it’s, I go through bouts of like mental self discussions. What does this mean? What does this person mean by mindfulness right now? Because I feel like it means something different for me than it’s meaning right now for them. And yeah, there’s the idea of mindfulness for self but also mindfulness for others. So yeah, I would love to hear, what’d you have to say with regards to that? Absolutely.
Okay. With mindfulness. Okay. Being aware of where you are in life, where you’re on autopilot and deciding for yourself, that’s the direction you want to go in. Is that, am I doing this because I want to do it or am I doing this because this is a cultural norm. Mm. And once you start diving into that living intentionally, it’s amazing to see the things that we do just because everybody else is doing it. Hmm. And that doesn’t make it right. Yeah. So it’s a, it’s an intentional living is what mindfulness is to me. And, and that’s where my, my, a lot of my Buddhist influences have come from. And I don’t consider myself a Buddhist. I just, with Buddhism, the way that I explained it is that use Buddhism and to be a better whatever you already are, because it’s, it’s a practice. It’s just a way to have a more skillful life to mitigate the suffering and pain we go through.
Right. Mm. And the, the pain that we go through. And so that’s why I’ve been in that direction. But so yeah. So mindfulness for me is intentional living. Yeah. Aye. Really when you said that with regards to traditions and norms and you know, the part of the reason for this podcast was breaking traditions and norms. And part of it was, I probably never really considered using the word mindfulness. It was just, God, I’m sick of this shit. You know, it was, you know, of everything. Why do I have to do what everyone says and why is everyone pressuring me to do these things and why do I have to fit into these little boxes that everybody else has created for me? I don’t even know if I’m enjoying this space right now. And yeah, it is the freedom that comes from stepping even just one box.
You know, you’ve got a million boxes. I’m sure the freedom that’s that is given when you step outside of one box creates, you know, the domino effect because it’s really quite pleasurable. There is joy in. It’s so scary. I mean, I’m sure you guys were a little scared when you stepped into that RV and sold everything off. You know, it’s scary. But the, you know, I’ve got chills in my arm right now. I, the freedom that comes from just that little step, you know, is it’s, you could barely explain it because it is an amazing feeling and it’s almost like you never felt that before. And I think we don’t ever feel that before because we’re so pressured to believe from birth that we have to do and say and behave and own. That was when you were talking about homeownership guests. I was thinking, I’ve never owned a home and I actually have zero desire.
And part of it is the freedom aspect. I’m like, why I’m, I’m stuck there. Then I can’t get up and go anywhere. I understand why people want to own a home and I’m not knocking anybody, but personally I have literally no desire. And then maybe one day I will when I don’t have a million children still living at home. Maybe one day I will, but you know, right now I’m like, man, they just destroy things. And also I love the idea. I’m a little bit of a gypsy at heart. That’s why the RV life, you know, kind of, I like the, I kind of get sick of a place after a period of time and I want to pick up and go somewhere new and I don’t really care. You know what I’m curious about socially for you guys as far as like your friends and family when you guys took this step, and I’m wondering, I’m assuming this is totally an assumption.
You’re conversations changed because of your mindset changing and I’m assuming that the conversations you’re now having and when you’re telling them, you know, we’re sold everything off and we’re moving Oh by the way, via RV and you know, this is what’s happening now. How, what happened with regards to socially and your family? What were their responses? Two, your guys has changes like this with my family.
Glenda: I was very fortunate that I had a lot of support. Yeah. My, my brothers and sisters know me very well and they, they know that I, I’d always wanted to do things a little bit differently and so they just said, go for it, Glenda. Good luck. Oh yeah. That’s fabulous. I love that. Yes. Having that type of support system is not common, so I love, I love that. So yeah, kudos to your family. I love that.
Yes. I’m, I’m very blessed to have them now on the opposite end of the spectrum. Yeah. Friends or, okay. Coworkers, colleagues. I mean they, it was a very different story. It was like, what, why would you do that? I mean that’s, that’s a money pit. Our being is, you know, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that RV is a money pit and just that I’m going to get sick of it after a year. I mean, they were telling me what I was going to experience. The thing is, is that aye, at first it bothered me, but then I said, they’re not paying my bills. Right. No influence on my life. I am the creator whom I love my life. I been crazy. It was like they’re trying to put you back in the box. They totally were. And yeah. And now stepping back from that, I realized that when people do that, they’re just doing that at their own insecurities there.
They’re only coming from a place of that they, they don’t think that they could ever do it there. They’re showing or sharing their own worries. Whereas it doesn’t matter what they think. I mean, yeah, I still love them. I still have compassion for them, but in the end it doesn’t matter what matters is what’s going on between my family and my, my husband and I really, you know, and yeah. So it, it just. I just had to ignore it. I just, I really had to ignore it and keep going. I’m curious, interested to know, did you feel like making these changes and then the responses that you had, your family who’s being supportive on one side, coworkers and friends who aren’t, we won’t say lack of support, but very questioning of your actions. And you still love the friends. It’s just still, you know, a struggle there.
But did it change your mindset on how you interact with other people now? As far as, because I think we have, because of traditions and norms when we, or speaking to someone who’s making a choice that we may not necessarily make. We as a society feel as though we have right responsibility. I don’t know what it is to tell them projected upon them our own personal desires as if that’s what their desires should be. Do you feel like, because now you’ve, you have experienced this and then your mindset change of being mindful and yeah, this, this freedom. Did you recognize that your responses to other people’s changes or what’s going on with them or what they’re doing, it may not be something that you are necessarily interested in or wanting to do, but that your response was different than it had been prior. Does that make sense?
Yeah, absolutely. One of the biggest concepts that has changed my life is truly embracing that we can’t control other people. what Happens the us or, or anything like that. The only thing that we can control is how we react to events, situations, people, and then our behaviors that we do after that is our actual behavior. So when I actually focus on that, what’s so funny, Cori, is this is a philosophy that I have to remind myself every day. Like, if I, you know, especially being on social media and, and putting my work out there, I get people that I get all kinds of negative comments. And the thing is, is okay, I can’t control their reactions to me, but what I can control is how I react to them. And so I come to them with a heart of compassion and because I know that they’re lashing out or they’re coming from a place that it is, there’s a lack of love internally.
I think when you’re so judgmental and when you’re telling people how to live their lives and there’s something missing about when you truly fall in love with yourself. And I used to cringe at saying that but, but it’s true when you truly fall in love and see your value. Anyone else says doesn’t matter because you’re being, you was being the person that you’re supposed to be.
Cori: Loving yourself is always been considered selfish. It’s been considered lacking. Okay. In concern for another, if you are you love self, I think we have a very confused idea in society as to what loving self is. And so when you say that, and when you bring it together with freedom and mindfulness and then recognizing the strength in loving self and then it gives you these abilities to do what you’ve done, where you step outside of those traditions and norms and you’re able to, yeah.
Love yourself, I think you’re able to love others in a greater capacity, you know, that you probably couldn’t have before. Recognizing the beauty that is around you. Mmm. And, and breathing that in, in a way that it really is just expansive as far as how your life can, can become and how much more freeing it becomes. It can become. Let’s talk a little bit about The Status Foe also, no, this is your book. It’s not out yet. We’re anxiously awaiting. Yeah. let, how did that, how did you get to the point of deciding, I’m writing this book. This is it. I’m going to write a book and this is what it’s going to be about. Where, where did that evolve? September-October of 2019 I made the decision to close down my, my graphic and website design firm. It was a okay a job that was, I was on autopilot when I was doing it. I had started it because I was laid off in 2011 and I said, I’m never working for anyone else ever again. This is no, I’ve gone through this twice and I, I just, I will not do this again. So I started my own business and luckily I had a skill set that was sellable. So it was very natural for me to go into graphic design and then
Go from a freelance business to then an agency.
Hmm. So I had been feeling in that graphic and website design firm for several years that I wasn’t feeling of fulfillment. I, I showed up to work, I did what I needed to do. I was wonderful to my clients, respectful, did the jobs that I needed to do, but I wasn’t internally happy with what I was doing. So there was this itch that I wasn’t scratching, but it kept coming up and I, I worked with coaches, I worked with a mindset coach and I started reading different books and you start going down that trail and you meet someone who recommends another book. The book You’re a badass by Jen Sincero, which I highly recommend reading. Yeah. She just points out looking at yourself. Okay. As someone worthy. Yeah. For once. Okay, okay. Taking responsibility for your life. And yeah, she was such an influence on me and her book, that first book was such an influence that, I started doing the things she recommended in that book and I saw these positive changes and I struggled with letting go of this old business because I thought kind of built this, this is my identity.
This is everything that I’ve put into this business is who I am. When someone asks me about myself, I say, well, I’m an entrepreneur. I, you know, I, I label myself that way. And so letting go of that was really difficult for me because I was letting go of that identity and I finally came to the conclusion that I don’t have to be the same person that I was five minutes ago. I have no obligation to be the same identity that if I want to change I can. And does that come with repercussions? Yes. Does that come with positive aspects? Yes, but it’s, it’s making that decision and going forward. So that’s how the, The Status Foe came about. I felt like I wanted to make a mess, a message out of my mess, out of my messy life that has happened and I want to talk about how I have found peace and freedom in my life. They’re just simple philosophical concepts and self discipline, Self love. Yeah. I was able to achieve this life that I said I wanted to create and it took years and it took effort but it’s possible and I think that there are people out there that they have these dreams that they’re like, I don’t want to be in suburbia anymore. I don’t want to do that. Rving is not for everybody and I to be really clear
That I’m not trying to get everybody to become a full time RV year. It’s more of listening to that little voice that you have that keeps saying, well, what if, what if we moved to this country? Or what if we, what if we move to a smaller house and we take some kind of three weeks road trip every single year? Or you don’t need, I don’t know, but that’s visual to determine. Yeah. What their dreams are. What, what that that likes this. Hmm. Okay. When I, when I started the business, I knew that I wanted to be a speaker even though I’m terrified of public speaking.
Okay. Which is so funny, right? You know, I did Toastmasters, I’ve been practicing, I’ve taken courses. I’ve, I believe that most things are a skill and that you can learn it. Okay. If you have the drive and the discipline to learn something, you can get better with it every single time you practice. And that’s how I approach it is just every single time is an opportunity. Okay. I believe so strongly in my message that it’s, it’s a, it’s a message. Peace. Yeah. It’s not going to be the most popular message out there. Okay. It’s going to help somebody inspire them to change their life the way that Jen Sincero changed mine. Mm. So empowering and then to take that because you’re, yeah, I know you’re not wrong. I know you’re not wrong, that there are others who have that same feeling that may feel alone, don’t know the steps, and to have that ability to take your story and you know, the steps that you, and the tools that you used and share that with someone else in a way, okay.
Encourages and empowers them then to know that it’s okay. You’re not alone. You know, because I think that’s a big struggle is we think we’re alone in these thoughts, especially when you’re, you know, surrounded by society that says, we’ve got to have all of these things. But I know that there’s people just like you just like myself who are going, no, something’s not right. And how do I step outside of that box? Yeah. That everyone says I have to be a part of. Yeah. You know? So in order to do this, this was you, you know, breaking free you know, traditions and norms. What do you feel that really empowered you? What was the biggest for you to go forward like this and what is pressing you forward as you go along?
Such a great question. I have all these answers flooding my head and aye. I know this sounds cliche, but I believe it. Gratitude. Hm. I believe that when you can truly have gratitude or what you have that desire to have more and to attach yourself to these things and to think that, well, if I buy this, my life is going to be better if I buy that this is, this is going to improve my comfort. This is it. The thing is, is the advertising and marketing companies are just doing their job. They’re selling you the benefits of happiness, right? That’s, that’s what they’re selling to us. But when you can look past that and say, I don’t need those things in order to be happy. Okay. Hmm. My happiness is completely internal.
Like when someone asks me, but you don’t have a home. My home is within myself because wherever I go I have to deal with myself, you know, so wherever I, so yeah, I’m a huge advocate for traveling and learning about other cultures. Sure, yeah. When people say, Oh, I want to go travel to find myself, the thing is what we’re all looking for is really internal and it’s really feeling gratitude and satisfaction and feeling self worth and love for yourself and knowing your value and matching your actions with your values. I think that we tend to all have these really great values. Most of us have really great values like well we’ll just say family life. You know, I value my family yet you see people not calling their family and they say, Oh, I need to call this person more. Or they, they’re not spending a lot of time with their children or their spouse, but yet I, I value family. So there’s this disconnect between the actions we’re actually taking and the values we have. So we’re not building that self-confidence, that self-worth of I am doing what I say I’m going to do. Okay. I think that that’s one of the biggest keys is when you can match your behaviors with the values that you have, then yeah, it just, you start to build this confidence in yourself that I can do this. I have the courage to focus on the things that I actually
Love and value in that are important to me.
Okay, cool. It’s amazing what it does to your self esteem and then you can move forward. You can, you can move forward with confidence encouraged because I think it takes courage to make these decisions and take these big leaps. But so many times where we’re missing that courage because we’re like, well, what if this goes wrong? What if that goes wrong? Well, sometimes you just have to just have blind faith is what I call it. But do you remember in Indiana Jones where, you know, he goes through some big cave, there’s like knives, things thrown at him and, and he gets to an edge, like a ledge where there’s a deep hole. But he has to get to the other side and he throws the sand over. And that’s how I believe that we have to walk through faith in our life.
We know where we want to go, but we have to do it with this invisible bridge. We’ll get there, but it’s, you just have to take the first step and start taking the next step and the next step in it. Cause it’s not, you know, running across. They’re all joyful and wonderful. Right. One step at a time. Even if you’re shaking the death know, just do it scared.
Cori: Okay. There’s something in our house. We talk about it. Yeah. Well, I feel like I’m saying it right. Mmm. Is a contentment. So when you said gratitude and you were explaining it, that’s what it made me think of is it doesn’t necessarily to be content where you’re at or with what you have. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s all joy in sunshine, but that you’re able to find joy in what you do currently have. No, again, it doesn’t mean that you don’t seek, you know, to progress.
But finding contentment with where you’re at, it’s difficult because you really have it, you know, pause and stop looking forward, finding more joy in the moment that you’re, you’re in right now. And so we talk about that a lot. My partners regularly telling by kids and this makes them nuts and he says it to other people too, but the idea that we have no clue what’s going to happen in the next minute. I have no idea. I have no idea. And so instead of looking forward, so what I want, want, want or what I think I want, want, want, finding contentment, enjoying this one moment where I’m at right now. And then when the next moment comes, you know, find the next bit there. It’s just not a common practice and it’s really difficult to do. But yeah, the idea that we can find gratitude, we can find contentment. We can find joy right there in the moment, right where we’re at. Cause it’s there, you know, but what we actually need to seek it out is, again, it’s, it’s very, very freeing.
You and your husband say something that you guys say out loud to each other all the time. What does that do? Okay, so just to let you know, I have a, a daily meditation practice, and this is part of my mindfulness practice that helps me to be more present, to have that contentment that you’re talking about. Hmm. Okay. We, we, we talk about the, they’re the Buddhist five remembrances and the, the first one in there, there’s five of them. I won’t go into depth into all of them, but they’re, there’s something that we say out loud to each other every single day. The first one is that I will, I get sick, I will lose my health. The second one is I will age, I will lose my youth. Yeah. Third, I will die. Okay? Yeah. I always do this.
Okay. Every year one and every thing that I love will change and I will be separated from them. Hmm. And the last one is, my actions are my only possessions and I cannot escape their consequences. And it’s funny because when I tell people that I say this on a daily basis, they’re like Glenda, you’re so morbid that you remind yourself that you’re top of death every single day. And the way that I see it. Okay. And in using death for example, okay, I’ve changed my relationship with death. I used to fear it. I used to just, I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want anything to do with death. I mean death was a long time from now on, on my, on my lifetime scale. And when I went through seeing my dad go through his illness, okay. He, he wasn’t able to retire and you know, he had done all the right things saved and said when I retire I’m going to, I’m going to enjoy life, I’m going to cross things off my bucket list. He wasn’t able to because he got sick right as his retirement started. And then my mom, she took care of him by, by choice but, and she passed away suddenly from a heart attack. So that was this. Okay. When I had to stare death in the face twice like that, I just realized that I am not infinite. Yeah. I’m not infinite. I am not this, I won’t last forever. I’m not in control. So I need to be living right now. I need to be doing what I want to
And so I see death as a motivation. It’s a motivation too. Not only create the life that I want but also too love it and be kind, okay. Love my family and my friends just okay in, in the way that I, you know, approach people. I remember just I would sit with people and not really listened to them and you know, just kind of half way be there because you’re thinking about a million things in your head of what you need to do. And it’s very different now because the way that I, I see someone is that right? This could be the last opportunity that I have with this person, so make the best of it. And I slip up like I’m not saying that I’m this holier than thou person. I still absolutely slip up, but embracing this concept of death and all of the ones in the five remembrances.
Has just helped me to be more present, actively present in my life. [inaudible] To make better choices towards the person I want to be the person that I, the good person that I, I know I can be. And it just, it’s a motivator for me.
Cori: Would you say that part of The Status Foe also came from embracing the death of your parents? Yes, absolutely. It did know death is not something that, well, I should talk about it from my point of view. I’m not good at about talking about death now in the sense that when someone else dies, because of the my personality, I am known to be levity. I’m the one who makes people happy when they’re sad. You know, if you’re down, I can figure out a way to make it better. I’m also a problem solver, so if something’s wrong, I’m going to figure it out somehow.
I don’t know how, but I’ll figure it out. Okay. I can’t figure out how to make someone happy when they have, I just lost someone. I cannot figure out how to bring joy in the midst of what I know has to be the most difficult grieving process ever. And so from that standpoint of someone like that, that’s how I am. I, I don’t always know what to do with this because I can’t fix it. I can’t fix you. I don’t even know what to say. And so the, that you have taken these principals, you said the remembrances, the five remembrances of Buddhism and it’s like an embracement of it. Okay. That’s, that’s very empowering to me. That what was the very last one? The very fifth remembrance. My choices are our, are my only possessions and I cannot escape their consequences. The other ones I have to say when you were first telling you that, I’m like, yeah, they do kind of sound a little bit morbid, but the, the, that last one though is yeah, the ownership of that.
And then, like you said, embrace, you know, taking that, but then also embracing, you know, death and saying I’m an L instead of delving down into the, whether it be the drinking or severe depression, which, you know, many people do and understandably, Mmm. And you change the narrative. Yeah. On this it’s just mind boggling is blowing me away. So, okay, that aside for a moment. Another thing that we had really discussed to when you and I had talked, okay. I’m really big on empowering and especially empowering women, but empowering anyone and finding out how we can empower others. I think part of that is telling your own story because it, it creates the ability for others to relate. And through this process, what have you found with regards to yourself, you know, prior to feeling empowered and now being empowered and now recognizing that you almost have a responsibility to share that empowerment. What’s it with other women or with other people? I feel empowered because I feel like I took my, okay, yeah, I spent so much of my life living in this survival mode in this reactive mode. Okay. Through learning these philosophies and practices.
Okay. I feel like the tables have turned where I choose what I let in. I choose what bothers me. What, because especially with meditation, okay, you don’t stop you, you choose your thoughts, you choose which thoughts you. If you have like let’s say anxious thoughts. Yeah. I don’t know about you, but with anxious thoughts, I can run down a rabbit hole of just what if in this scenario and you make up all these cases, crazy stories, can you get in this really bad mood and then you’re stressed and then you go yell at this family member and you go yell at that family member and then you start yelling at someone on Facebook. You know, it’s just this reactive. What I’ve learned is through meditation is being able to be aware of those thoughts and it’s such a simple but so difficult exercise to do because it’s so against what we’ve learned our entire life. Okay. Our culture, our society is
Taught us to reactive. Yep.
Okay. That that’s, that’s how it is. Yeah. What’s wonderful about feeling empowered of taking your power back? Is that right? You don’t have to react. You know, I, I say that calm is a super power because calm being calm. You, you’re, you’re back in the driver’s seat. You put yourself back in the driver’s seat. Yeah. Aye. I want to share that. I want to share that empowerment so I can these other people who have beautiful stories and that can feel this fulfillment and have compassion for others and stop hating on everybody for every little thing that they’re doing good. That they, they, they’re living a fulfilling life and that’s what I, I wish for people and that’s what I, my intention is with all of this. And so with the, the empowerment, one of the things that I work with, with my clients is you have to go, it’s really, we have to start off slowing down your life and slowing things down and observing.
Where are you reacting in your life? And that, that takes time. Yeah. It’s learning to recognize what, what are things that bring you joy again, you know, instead of alcohol, which I don’t know, there was years and years of my life that at five o’clock, my mouth would start salivating. I wanted that glass of wine. I wanted that tonic. I want whatever. Okay. I would reach for that. And it’s, cause I was, I was like, Oh, I want to take the edge off. Oh, I want to be more social at this event. Or Oh my gosh, I don’t want to be at this family event, So I’m going to drink a little to just have a little more fun and that was my experience. I don’t know if that’s everybody’s experience, but yeah, learning to find joy. Yeah. The things that, okay, just normal activities. I say normal activities. Like how should I put this? It’s, it’s more of just finding what those little things that bring you joy again and, and focusing on finding a hobby. I don’t know about you now. I know you have a house full of kids and, but we’re not really encouraged to have these hobbies that actually bring us joy. When I talk with a lot of my clients in the beginning they say things like, well, my hobby is retail therapy. Okay. Although I, I, I think that that can bring joy to some,
I think it’s just, well that’s something to go do. I’m going to go walk around target 500 times, spend 200 bucks that I wasn’t expecting to spend. Okay. Is that really bringing you joy? No. Like, let’s go back to your past. Did you used to garden? Did you use to do art? Did you use to go hiking? Did you, what were things that you used to do that just lit you up that you forgot about the time? Okay. Putting more of those activities is back in your life, I think brings life back out and then you start to feel like, Oh my gosh, I, I don’t necessarily have to go straight to alcohol every single day after work. I can go for a walk. I can so spend time with my kids. I can, you know, whatever that is. And so I think just taking time to figure out what you actually want and what you actually liked to do.
It’s so important in the beginning. Okay. Kind of. Yeah. Just taking that break and slowing down and minimizing the schedules and yeah. Take, even if it’s one step at a time, just taking those steps back. This does not, this is not a quick fix type solution. This is a, this is very much a practice consistency and, and self love self discipline, which I believe are the same thing that makes me think of when you’re talking about looking back. Yeah. Things that used to bring you joy. I think sometimes we forget. We used to bring us joy, you know. And something that’s interesting that I’ve done as I’ve gotten older now and my children have gotten older is things that I, it’s like things you’d never thought that you would do or that you could do. And the, my personality can sometimes be I want to do all the things.
And so I’ll try all the things. And I mean, honestly, to be totally honest, that’s where podcasting came out of, I wanted to do a podcast years ago. I was a big fat chicken, so I didn’t do it. And then I finally said, screw it. I want to do it. All the things and this is one of them. And then, well it turns out I love it, you know? And so yeah, I can see exactly what you’re saying because that’s what it was for me. It was, I’m going to find these other things because I, you know, I don’t really, I wasn’t finding joy everywhere else. You know? And then when you have that right, you know, like you have done with writing this book and this change in your life and then you have that ability to share it with others. It’s truly amazing.
It’s, it is empowering, but it’s also a sense that brings about a sense of community too. Yeah. Where I feel like we, as a society, our community is dwindling. I don’t think we look at each other as a community anymore. We look at it, we just all about self, so when you’re able to bring back the, you know, the community mentality by using your own experiences in the way that you have I think is, is truly fabulous. I just really want to thank you by the way for coming on and chatting with me today. I’m sure we could go on for hours more just because I just enjoy talking with you, but where, where can everybody find you in the book and how do we get in contact with you and all of that? Yeah, so my, my website is called the T H E Status FOE.
I never even said this, but the status quo, what that means is that the status quo is the enemy to living the life you truly deserve. So that’s why I came up with that name and I love it. Okay. Play on words and stuff like that. But yeah, so that’s the name of my book and you can go to my website, I’m sure we’ll put the link in the, in the show notes. I put all the links, but there I have an email list. So if you’re interested in the book, feel free to sign up on my email list and I am more than happy to email you information as I know more when it’ll come out where we’re still in the editing phase. But I’m saying summer 2020th is when it’s going to make its debut.
And now on your website too, you blog also. So you have some blog posts and things like that where people can kind of keep up with you and what’s going on and your thoughts and things like that. And then I am hoping that when this was, you know, we’ll just put it out there in the universe book coming in the summer that we can have you back on even if it’s just like a live or something like that. And we can talk about the book cause I’m, I’m looking forward to, I’m reading that book as well and check out. Definitely check out. Yeah. Glenda’s website. Interesting. You know, she’s got her blog on there and you can get a little bit, you know, I know sometimes some of us are kind of like, well, let me, I want to see what she looks like and I want to know what the RV looks like.
You know, you know, all that kind of stuff and I know that you have, you have some photos and things like that in there as well. Again, thank you so much, Glenda, for coming on today and I look forward to when The Status Foe comes out. Thank you so much Cori. This is an amazing opportunity and I, I want to say that I admire you for having this podcast because there’s so many things that you talk about and I know some things that you’re, your future podcasts that, that you’ll have that amazing topics that need to be talked about and this is how change starts is we, we talk about, yeah, we don’t shame people, we don’t guilt people. We just live our lives, talk about things and it fit that plants a seed. That’s amazing. I just, I support it 100% what you’re doing. I just, I’m excited to see where this podcast goes for you. Thank you. Gosh, I’m going to cry now. Let it go. Yeah.
Thank you so much for listening in to today’s episode of That’s Not Proper. Remember to subscribe and review. That’s not proper on whichever podcast platform you are listening in on. Check out Glenda Hoon Russell’s website, The Status Foe on that website. She’s got her blog. She’ll let you know when her book is officially released, but in the meantime you can connect with her and hear a little bit more about her ideas and her story and the book as well. She also has a YouTube channel and that is also the status photos, so please check her out and as soon as Glenda’s book is out, I will let everybody know and hopefully get to have her back on so we can talk a little bit more about the book once it is finally released. Otherwise, thank you so much for listening into, that’s not proper and remember to listen in.